There are Furies at the Bottom of my Garden.

THERE ARE FURIES AT THE BOTTOM OF MY GARDEN

Go past the garden shed and then go straight ahead .You will know them at once by their snaky hair and the blood dripping from their eyes as they watch me cultivate my poisonous plants. Those that blister, itch and sting are the mildest of my sins. And I know that I will not go unpunished. I am watched by their baleful eyes as I plant peonies and periwinkle and potatoes and peaches.

Oh yes, peaches. Did no one tell you ? Whether it is in Dr. McGillicuddy's Peach Schnapps or a small cube of the fruit from a rip-top can, peaches are deadly. Peaches can cause anaphylactic shock which could be fatal. The young man who insisted that holly berries were poisonous believed that story readily enough as he himself suffered from the poisonous peach syndrome.

As far as I know, he is still with us but can no longer indulge in Fuzzy Navels.

One eejit who thought that he was smarter than the rest of us and obviously liked apples, made a collection of the seeds until he had a cupful. He sat down to enjoy this crunchy treat and never got up again.
 China now supplies the world with most of its' apples and with the southern hemisphere shipping north we can have them any time. I enjoyed them more as a seasonal treat and before I was warned about the seeds. But I'm so 20th century.

A seasonal harvest that I always anticipated was Ontario's largesse of Sweet Cherries but not with the same keenness now that I know about their content of prussic acid. My vegetable garden gets the same rigorous inspection and I did so enjoy onions, until I learned better. No more lettuce for me either, whether from Chile, Mexico, California or my own garden. Should you doubt me you can check this out in a pretty little book from England titled Plant Alert : A Garden Guide for Parents. The author obviously knows her stuff. She uses the correct scientific name, Lactuca sativa and shares with us her horticultural experience as she explains that all parts of lettuce are hazardous " especially the milky sap or latex." To guard against any possible misunderstanding we are provided with a good photograph of young lettuce in the rows of her garden.
  Knowing what she does it is surprising that she keeps growing them. It is amazing the lengths people will go to in the name of science. I have her book and there's more, lots more. This is just the tip of the Iceberg.

The strangest things infuriate my Furies. I did not plant the Creeping Buttercup or the Quack Grass but it appears that I am to be held responsible for their toxic roots. I mean, who knew ?